(Reuters – Rome): L’Osservatore Romano is reporting that The Vatican has
declared Goldman Sachs to be The Holy Ghost. The revelation has inspired hordes of the religious faithful to descend upon the firm’s New York headquarters and drop to their knees – a position Goldman Sachs brought the rest of the world to in 2007.
The statement, issued by Joseph Ratzinger under the Nom de plume Benedict XVI, outlines the reasoning behind the stellar declaration. The Holy Ghost – which shares the power of God – is invisible yet everywhere, can create something from nothing or turn everything back into nothing – all miraculous powers that reside in Goldman Sachs as evidenced by their orchestration of a worldwide economic collapse and their ability to reap record profits from it.
The Vatican paper cites the disclosure comes because The Holy Sea has been anxious to recognize realities in this world and follows the apologies issued to both John Lennon and Galileo, in which the Church admitted that the earth does revolve around the sun and that The Beatles were indeed bigger than god.
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